4 year anniversary

🤒🤕🤢😢 Yesterday marked the 4th anniversary of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. 🎗💊💉                      –                    

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I suppose that I am actually going through the “stages of grief”. 
🔹 Year 1 was shock

🔹 Year 2 was anger

🔹 Year 3 was denial

🔹 Year 4 is apparently depression 

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I know I’m usually the one to share information, raise awareness about MS, and spread the positivity and gratitude, but I just don’t have it in me right now. 🤢 
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I usually share some of the things I deal with as a way to help those without the disease gain more understanding. I always thought that if they knew a tiny bit of what we go through every day that maybe they’d have more compassion and empathy for how difficult it is to perform even the smallest task. 
🔸 Maybe they’d cut us some slack and not be angry when we forgot things. 

🔸 Maybe they wouldn’t call us lazy because we can’t work. 

🔸 Maybe they wouldn’t be resentful if we can’t be where they want us to be or do what they want us to do. 

🔸 Maybe they’d be more forgiving of our mistakes and realize that we are doing the best we can. 

🔸 Maybe they’d stop making assumptions and jumping to the wrong conclusions about us because we have a disease in our brain that affects every single aspect of our lives. 

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Sometimes I share what I go through because I want to help others fighting the disease. They’ll see that they’re not alone and that someone else completely understands what they’re going through. Multiple Sclerosis is very isolating and incredibly lonely. Not only do you lose your physical and mental abilities, but you also lose almost everything and everyone else from your “previous life”. 
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This year has been overwhelming. As difficult as it is, I’m going to try to think positively and celebrate this anniversary as the death of a terrible year. I survived. 

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I still have a long road ahead. I have a few other health issues to get through and then hopefully I can get past this awful relapse. Then I’ll be able to start a new therapy for MS and get back on my feet. Navigating through all the Dr appointments, tests, surgeries, and medications has become a full time job. It consumes my life. It requires my full attention 24/7/365. 

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I didn’t ask for this disease. I didn’t work so hard my entire life to end up like this. I have to figure out how to live a life I never wanted. Some days I can get myself out of bed, accomplish a few small things, and be grateful for what I do have. Other days my legs won’t work or the room won’t stop spinning and I’m happy if I can make it to my chair on the front porch or my glider on the back patio. I soak up the sun ☀️ and play fetch with my dogs and feel gratitude having an amazing husband and pets. Then there are the days where I’m in so much pain and can’t get any relief. The strongest medicine barely takes the edge off and I cry for 24 hours straight. 

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I want to get through this. I want to feel better. I want to have my life back. I want a cure for MS. 

Salmon with Orange Relish for Paleo and Wahl’s

Ingredients

4 wild caught salmon fillets (about 1 1/2 inches thick)
2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp lemon juice
1-2 oranges (depending on size) (peeled and segmented)
1/4 C scallions (Sliced)
2 tsp Ginger (Grated)
1/4 cup slivered almonds
Sea salt & black pepper

Directions

Preheat oven to 500.

Segment oranges & cut into 1/2″ pieces. Drain oranges in a colander. Toss in a bowl with ginger, lemon juice and scallions.

Place sheet tray in 500 oven to preheat. Cut 3 diagonal slashes into skin side of salmon, not going in too deep. Pat both sides dry with a paper towel. Brush with extra virgin olive oil & season with sea salt & pepper on both sides.

Turn oven down to 275. Place the salmon skin side down on the preheated hot tray. Roast salmon 9-13 minutes until a thermometer temp reads 125.

Serve salmon topped with orange relish & sprinkle with slivered almonds.

** you can also substitute tangerines or any other variety of citrus for the oranges depending on the season! This is one of my favorite recipes and I’ve made it several times with different types of fruits including tangerines, clementines & blood oranges!

I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin

Grass Fed Rib Eye Steak with Herb Butter for Paleo and Wahl’s

  Ingredients 

•  1 Tb apple cider vinegar 
• 2 cloves garlic (minced)
•  2 Tb Worcestershire sauce 
• 2 Tb fresh rosemary (chopped) 
• 2 scallions (minced) 
• 2 Tb fresh parsley (minced) 
• 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
  Sea salt
• 4 Tb unsalted butter
  Dried porcini mushrooms 
• 1 Bone In 100% grass fed Rib Eye Steak (About 2-1/2″ thick, about 2 lbs)
• Extra virgin olive oil for brushing

Directions

Grind mushrooms in spice grinder. Mix in bowl with garlic, vinegar, brown, 1 Tb Worcestershire, 1-1/2 Tb rosemary, pepper flakes & 2 tsp salt.

Cut 8 deep slits about 1″ apart all over steak. Fill each slit with some of mushroom mix & rub the rest all over steak. Transfer to a plate, cover with plastic & put in fridge for 2-4 hrs. Remove from fridge about 1 hour before cooking to bring to room temperature. 

 Combine butter, scallions, parsley, remaining Worcestershire, & remaining rosemary, and 1 tsp salt in a bowl. Cover & fridge til ready to use.

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reheat grill to medium high. Turn off burners on one side. Brush steak with extra virgin olive oil & place on cooler side of grill. Cover & cook, turning occasionally, til thermometer reads 110, 20-30 mins. Move steak to hot side & cook 2 mins per side. Transfer to board & rest 15 mins, spreading with some of the butter.

Top steak with more butter to serve.
I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin

Tuna Steak Salad for Paleo and Wahl’s Protocol

Ingredients

4 Tuna Steaks
1 lemon
2 Tb. Dijon mustard
2 Tb. White wine vinegar
2 Tb. Fresh thyme
1 clove minced garlic
4 cups chopped kale
3 stalks celery chopped
4 plum tomatoes chopped
1/2 cup minced fresh parsley
1 onion chopped
1 can Cannelloni beans
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil + 1 Tb

Directions

Preheat grill. Drizzle tuna with 1 Tb olive oil, salt & pepper.

Whisk lemon juice, thyme, vinegar, mustard & garlic. Gradually whisk in olive oil. Add kale, tomatoes, onion, beans, celery & parsley. Toss to combine.

Grill tuna 2-3 minutes on each side. Slice & arrange on salad.

Spinach Salad with Strawberry Dressing for Paleo & Wahl’s Protocol

Ingredients

2 Bags baby spinach
2 oranges (peeled & sectioned)
2 C Strawberries (1 cup sliced)
1-1/2 Tb balsamic vinegar
1 Tb Sunflower Seed Oil
2 tsp honey
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1/4 C almonds

Directions
In blender, combine 1 cup strawberries, vinegar, oil, honey, salt & pepper. In a bowl combine spinach, oranges, 1 cup sliced strawberries. Toss with dressing and top with almonds.

This salad is an easy way to pack a lot of the daily requirements in for those on the Wahl’s protocol! I always try to add extra almonds & strawberries to top off my salad cuz it’s delicious!!
I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin

Any day now

As I sit here writing I am experiencing what is known to someone with Multiple Sclerosis as a relapse. I have been in relapse since Christmas Eve and just can’t seem to make a recovery from this one no matter what I try.

I’ve forced myself to attend a theater show when I just really didn’t want to but we bought the tickets for our friends as a Christmas gift and couldn’t miss it.

I forced myself to run the bi-annual team meeting for my salon, which took every ounce of strength and courage I have in my body, and required the assistance of my husband, Salon Coordinator, and a ride home from a trusted member of the team.

I attended with an IV in my hand because I was getting a combo steroid/chemo infusion at the time and had to rush home after the meeting so my home care nurse could continue my treatments for me.

They didn’t work this time. I’m still stuck in bed with little improvement. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful the feeling in my right leg has returned, but I can’t see straight and the world around me is spinning constantly. It’s causing a nausea that I can’t quite put into words.

I’m stuck on the second floor of my townhouse because walking down the steps while the world around me spins is a dangerous adventure that I’m not allowed to take.

So I continue to lay here. Waiting for relief and recovery. Hoping for an end to the torture. Wondering when this relapse will end. All I keep thinking is- any day now.

Cauliflower Cheese Sticks & Pizza Crust for Paleo or Wahl’s Protocol

Ingredients
1 head cauliflower
4 eggs
1/2 Cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 cups + 4 cups shredded mozzarella
Dried oregano
Marinara sauce (for dipping)

Directions

Preheat oven to 425.

Prep 2 baking dishes with parchment paper.

Pulse cauliflower florets in food processor until it resembles rice. Place in microwaveable container & cover with lid. Microwave 10 minutes. Place in a large bowl with 4 eggs, 2 cups of mozzarella, spices of choice & mix together.

Separate in half & place each half onto prepared sheets into round for pizza crust or rectangle for breadsticks.

Bake crust for 25 mins.

If making as pizza crust, once golden, top with remaining ingredients & finish baking.

We discovered that this recipe needs a lot of seasonings or else it is quite bland! We tweaked the original a few times until we got it just right!

A few notes on the ingredients: we preferred shredded Parm instead of grated. We purchased the block of good quality Parm and did a larger shredding. The cans of inexpensive already grated cheese made it salty and the texture was off.

We also found that making the mix into a thin crust pizza thickness turned out perfect. Any thicker made it taste spongey!

Hope you enjoy!
I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin

Beef & Cabbage Stir Fry with Bone Broth for Paleo and Wahl’s Protocol

Ingredients

1 lb Sirloin steak (cut in 3/4″ strips)
2 Tb honey
12 oz beef bone broth (can sub beef broth)
2 Tb tomato paste
1 Tb Grey Poupon Country Dijon Mustard
1 head cabbage (cut in 1″ wedges)
1 tsp Caraway Seeds (Crushed)
1 C Carrots (1/2″ chunks)
2 Tb coconut oil
1 Onion (Sliced)
minced fresh parsley

Directions

Place cabbage and carrots in a covered saucepan with 1/4 cup of water over medium-high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce to low and continue cooking until vegetables are crisp-tender, 8-10 minutes. Drain and set aside.

Whisk bone broth, honey, tomato paste, mustard and caraway seeds together and set aside.

In skillet, add 2 Tb coconut oil. Add onion and sauté 4-5 minutes. Add beef and brown 3-4 mins. Pour in broth mix, cook & stir 3 minutes until bubbly. Toss in carrots & cabbage. Serve sprinkled with parsley.

I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin

Get your Greens Guacamole for Paleo and Wahl’s Protocol

Ingredients

2 small zucchini
5 scallions
2 kiwi
1 jalapeño
2 limes
1 bunch cilantro
2 avocado

Directions

Cut first 4 ingredients into large chunks. Pulse in food processor until finely chopped. Add diced avocado and blend, mashing to desired consistency. Add chopped cilantro and juice of 2 limes.

Serve with celery sticks, carrot sticks, gluten-free crackers & chips for dipping!

I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin

The Wahl’s Protocol Step 1

When transitioning to the Wahl’s Protocol, this is the first step. I have to eliminate gluten, processed foods, eggs and dairy from my diet. The point isn’t to live forever without the eggs and dairy, but if once I try them again to see if I have a reaction to them. It’s an elimination allergy test. I also have to keep sugars to a minimum.

Now for the additions. I have to eat 9 cups of vegetables every day, broken down as 3 cups of greens, 3 cups sulfur-rich and 3 cups colorful. I also have to add 100% grass fed meat and wild caught or responsibly farmed fish several times per week.

I also have a large list of supplements that I’ve added to my daily routine. I’m B12 deficient and don’t absorb the vitamin without an injection. So I have to self inject B12 shots every few weeks.

Vitamin D- nightly
Coenzyme Q-10 200mg 1 nightly
Fish oil 1-3g Morning
Kelp 600mg x1 Morning
Algae 500mg x2 Morning
Matcha green tea leaves daily
B12 shots- every 3 weeks
I’m on Instagram! @headcandyrobin